I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Just pee around me
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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