...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
