Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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