have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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