shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize