gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
