At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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