I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
