I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
