Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
