Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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