planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
