Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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