I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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