I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
do nipples grow back?
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