So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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