Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
