Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
