it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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