If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
