So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
