Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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