if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
