u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
