I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
