I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
