Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
