a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
