I want you more than these girls want KFC
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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