so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
