i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize