let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You've changed since you got that strap on
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
