Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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