Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
