Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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