today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
