Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Randomize