Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize