He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
