I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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