Soap is not a condiment
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
