Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
