they need to just BURY HIM!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
