mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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