Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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