Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
