im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
bring money and cleavage
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
