At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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