Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
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