Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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