Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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