ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
