I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
