Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
