I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
