Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Operation Purity has been aborted
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
