the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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