Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
