the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Someone came in the potted fern
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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