so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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